I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
