Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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