Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Randomize
