too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
