I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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