i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
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