you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
