:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
