I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
smell my finger.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
