how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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