I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
