Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
