just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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