what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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