Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
