No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
