After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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