So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
