im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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