I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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