Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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