U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize