So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
