Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
