im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
