10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
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