Your face is a jimmy john
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
