i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A+ Viking dick
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