is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
