I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
