Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
