I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
