you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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