So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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