A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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