i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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