well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
