my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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