Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
