I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
