using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
