idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Randomize
