i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
