bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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