Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
