Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
