On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
