dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
