as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
