If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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