I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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