i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
